This is an actual job application from a 18 year old boy to McDonalds,
and he got the job for being so honest and funny.
Sex: Not yet I'm saving myself for the right person.
Desired position: Company's President/Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place.
Desired Salary: 1,85,000 a year plus stock option and should it not work
out - a Michael Ovitz style severance package. Seriously, make an offer
and we can haggle.
Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.
Salary: Less than I am worth.
Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
Reason for leaving: It sucked.
Hours available to work: Any.
Preferred hours: 1.30 - 3.30pm (with 1/2 hour lunch break). Monday ,
Tuesday & Thursday only.
Do you have any special skills? Yes, but they're better suited to a more
May we contact your current employer - If I had one, would I be here?
Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting
up to 50 lbs? Of what?
Do you have a car - I think the more appropriate question here would be
"Do you have a car that runs?"
Have you received any special awards or recognition? I may already be a
winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstake.
Do you smoke? On the job - no, during breaks yes.
What would you like to be doing in five years? - Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy sexy super model blonde, who thinks I am the
best thing since sliced bread. - There again I'd like to be doing that
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE? - Yes, Absolutely.
Sign Here: LEO.